Just say…YES!

Have you ever thought about negative language patterns?

“Whatever you do, don’t think of a pink elephant!”

What did you have to do in order to process that command?

In my work with children, I often remind myself that when a child is going down a path that is not useful to themselves or those around them, giving them more useful options is always the best way to help them change their behavior.

And while we’re at it, how about making it more than one choice? How does that make you feel, to have choices, and realize that there are appropriate times and places for every choice?

Listen to what Virginia Satir says about choice:

Virginia Satir

In working with children, I often help to bring this to their realization, by asking them questions like, “when is it OK to use a loud voice?” Or, “when is it OK to put your hands on someone else?” Children then clearly understand that it is not their behavior that is problematic, but the context, and therefore feel empowered to make the right choice of behavior for the right setting.

We can do that too, can’t we?

Some of you know that I have recently been working on a problem that has bothered me for quite some time–bruxism. Understanding that every behavior has a positive intention, and is appropriate in context, is empowering, and allows the mind to make better choices. That habit of clenching my teeth together sure would come in handy for biting into a nice crispy, tart apple, now wouldn’t it? So, maybe I can convince myself that there is a time and a place for everything…

…say YES to who you are, and find ways to help yourself make choices, at the right times, and in the right places.

Bing Crosby

Be well, and at peace,

Phil

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